


Cougar Town

by astrangerenters



Series: Arashi Firefly [3]
Category: Arashi (Band), Firefly
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Angst, F/M, M/M, Sex Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-07
Updated: 2012-02-07
Packaged: 2017-10-30 18:09:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/334609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangerenters/pseuds/astrangerenters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Companion wore a dozen masks to suit everyone who bought their time, but there was one rule they couldn't break. Companions couldn't fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cougar Town

**Author's Note:**

> Set during 3009 CE a few months after the events of Our Mrs. Sakurai. An origin story for Jun with dates ranging from 2996-3004 for Jun's backstory.

**2996 CE  
Omoikane (the fourth planet)  
Sumire Temple, Staff Housing Block**

"He's too old, isn't he?" his father complained.

His mother shook her head in her quiet way. "I spoke with Yoshiko-san, and they say they've accepted up through age sixteen before, provided they were hard workers."

"I can work hard," Jun said, poking nervously at his dinner. 

"It's not the life I want for my son," his father continued, sipping more of the sake that made him more and more unpleasant with each cup he downed. Maybe if he didn't spend so much of the family's money on sake, Jun thought, they wouldn't even be having this conversation.

"It's a better life than this one," his mother insisted. "They don't just take anyone, but he'll never know poverty. He'll never go hungry, he'll want for nothing. It's more than we can give him. He's a growing boy."

His father looked at him, the dark circles under his eyes making him look as though he'd just come from a fight. "Don't want to be a farmer, do you, Jun-chan?"

Jun didn't know that for sure. But he didn't know if he wanted to be a Companion either. His father grew vegetables for Sumire Temple, and his mother cleaned Companion rooms in the temple complex. Even with such positions, the family was poor. Every extra bit of money they earned had to support his older sister's marriage prospects. If Jun was a Companion, he would live a luxurious existence. But he knew what Companions did, everyone who went to his school away from the temple grounds always talked about it. A Companion wore a dozen masks to suit everyone who bought their time, but there was one rule they couldn't break.

Companions couldn't fall in love.

Of course, Jun was twelve, almost thirteen, and he wasn't really that interested in love. His parents didn't seem to love each other, and all they ever talked about was marrying his sister off to some wealthy military type or some aristocrat from Hachiman who kept a second or third home here on Omoikane. So what was there to miss out on? Love wasn't real.

"I'll go," he agreed. "I'll go see what it's like."

\--

Sumire Temple was a vast maze of narrow incense-laden corridors. He'd never been inside any of the inner rooms where the Companions trained, but the gossip mill at school had filled his imagination almost to bursting with what the training entailed. He walked at his mother's side, feeling hopelessly out of place as he moved through the richly decorated buildings. 

His mother's connections had gotten Jun an interview with the Lead Companion, the highest-ranking member of the temple. Though most Companions traveled the system, Lead Companions had mostly retired save for their most loyal clients. Instead they were responsible for training the next generations of Companions. At Sumire Temple, the Lead Companion was Koyuki-san, widely praised for her beauty.

Jun was almost instantly overwhelmed by her when the door slid open, and the woman entered the sitting room where Jun and his mother had been kept waiting. Koyuki-san wore an elaborate kimono made of some fancy black fabric with roses and vines stitched all over it. Jun didn't know much about clothes, but he was pretty sure what Koyuki-san was wearing could have cost as much as his parents made in a year.

She knelt down across from them, bowing her head in greeting. Her eyes were calm, almost cool to match the rest of her face. She didn't frown, but she didn't smile either. There wasn't a blemish on her skin, and her hair was pulled back and elaborately braided. When she put her head down, Jun could see green vines woven into her hair that matched the pattern on her kimono exactly. This was the woman in charge, Jun could feel it to the tips of his toes.

Koyuki-san prepared tea for them, every step precise and beautiful. Jun's mother surely didn't go to all this trouble for tea, and Jun was feeling very overwhelmed. When they had finished their bitter tea, Koyuki-san watched him with her perfect eyes and perfect face. Jun had a fat face, a boring head of straight, black hair, and crooked teeth. Nobody would ever pick him to serve them tea someday.

"Jun-kun," Koyuki-san said. Her voice was clear and soothing, putting him at ease in a way her stunning appearance could not. "Would you like to join us here?"

His mother looked to him, and there was hope in her eyes. He knew his parents loved him, even if his father hated his work and his mother worked herself into exhaustion. They wanted the best for him, and he'd be a rude, terrible child if he didn't do this. If he said no, he'd probably have to drop out of school in a few years to join his father in the fields. His body would be constantly sore, and his life would be shortened all so the higher classes of Omoikane could live so freely. If he said no, his mother would probably be scolded for begging for the interview when his heart wasn't in it. If he said no, he'd make his parents even more unhappy. But how could he even begin to fit in here?

Koyuki-san leaned forward, and he could smell fresh flowers. Her hands were so soft and smooth when she took his in her own. "What do you say, Jun-kun? There are many things you can learn here. Some people think Companions only exist for one thing. And you don't know how wrong that assumption is. You're a handsome young man. I can tell that you're a little shy, but shyness only means you're very considerate and thoughtful towards the people you meet. We need considerate people here. You will be very popular some day, I expect."

Jun believed every word she said. So what if the kids in school said that Companions were nothing more than prostitutes in fancy clothes, that Companions were liars and that Companions were just a bunch of fakes? Koyuki-san didn't see him as a poor kid with crooked teeth. Koyuki-san, the most beautiful person Jun had ever seen, wanted him to live there with her. Koyuki-san wanted to make him popular.

He nodded in agreement, and there were tears running down his mother's face. Within a week, Jun had been moved into the dorm with a few other boys who were in training. He was proud of his decision, proud of how Koyuki had praised his potential. But as soon as the lights went out, he could hear it through the walls.

Sounds he'd only heard in dirty movies on the Net that some of the older boys at school had hacked into during computer lab sessions. Sounds that reminded him that even though he'd make tea and learn to play traditional instruments, there was still an expectation. Koyuki-san's praises didn't follow him into the dark, but the sounds of people having sex always did.

\--

**3009 CE  
Arashi  
Port side shuttle**

The console buzzed with an incoming caller. Jun sighed, shrugging out of bed and into his robe. He hurriedly smoothed his hair into a more presentable state, though he knew some of his clients liked seeing him with his bed hair. When he sat down in the cockpit and turned to squint at the screen in the dark, he grinned. He shouldn't have even bothered with the robe.

He pressed the button and was greeted with her smiling face. She immediately laughed at him. "Oh, I must have woken you!" No apology, of course. Ryoko never apologized.

"You did," he answered gruffly. "I could have made you wait even longer."

He could see that she was lounging on the chaise sofa in her sitting room, sunlight pouring in through the bay window behind her. She was effortlessly beautiful, her light brown hair cut in a bob style that suited her and few other women. "Always so grouchy in the morning, aren't you?"

He glared at the screen. "I live on a spaceship. We don't exactly have morning and night here. We sleep when our bodies tell us to."

She nodded, sipping some juice. "And where in all of space are you?"

"Inari."

Her eyes widened. "I love Inari! Best barbecue in the system. The freshest cuts of meat. Oh Jun, there's this restaurant in one of those podunk towns, Kamagaya, Kamogawa, one of those..."

"Ryoko-chan," he complained.

"...I swear, they must kill the cows in the back room, that's how fresh and delicious it is..."

"Ryoko-chan!"

She laughed at him again. "Oh, I forgot. You're a little snobby where those outer planets are concerned."

"I'm going back to sleep," he vowed.

"Alright, alright," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "Some of us need more beauty sleep than others."

He finally laughed at that. He'd spent so many years training himself to be refreshed and cheerful upon waking, contrary to his natural instinct to turn over and cover his head with a pillow. Even when he wanted to burrow under the blankets for another hour or three, he forced himself to get up quietly and with little fuss so he could fix morning tea and a simple breakfast for clients while they slept. It was days like this on Arashi when he could sleep as he so chose that he really loathed being interrupted. But he made exceptions for people like Ryoko.

"You could have just left me a message, but you didn't," he said, eyeing her suspiciously. "So lonely that you need to see my face? Hear my voice?"

She winked at him. "You always see right through me."

"And that's why I'm your favorite."

"Rude _and_ cocky this morning!" she laughed. "Okay, then let's get down to business, shall we? I need to see you. When can you come to me?"

Jun frowned at that. They'd only done a handful of jobs on the inner planets that year, and he'd made more money in two weeks on Tenjin than he had in two months jumping back and forth from Inari to Susanoo to Raijin and around again. And even though it was vastly more profitable for Sho to take jobs on the inner planets, they always seemed to come with some cost, whether it was questionable legality of the work or Sho's stubborn pride.

The captain seemed hellbent on taking jobs for people who could barely afford to pay him, thinking himself some glorious savior descending from up on high to help the poor and needy. Sho was always nagging him about being pretentious and picky, but Sakurai refused to see the same flaws in himself.

"I would have to speak with the captain. His boat, his rules," he reminded her.

She beamed. "Oh, no need to worry about convincing him. My money's good. He likes to haul things, your captain?"

He didn't like the knowing tone she always took when referring to Sho. Though he could read Ryoko like a book, it unsettled him with how well she could read him right back. Then again, they'd both been trained to do so. "He likes to haul things," Jun admitted.

"Well that's wonderful, because I have some furniture I need brought to an auction house on Fujin. I'd arrange for one of the ships around here, but your captain can probably do it for less, right?"

Always manipulative. He sighed. "You need to see me so badly you've found work for the captain to do? That's awfully nice of you. He's perfectly capable of finding his own jobs."

She leaned forward until her face was directly in front of her own comms panel. "Call me selfish, Jun, but I've always wanted to meet him. You're always talking about him and..."

"I do not always talk about him."

"Ah, ah, ah, don't argue me on that point, Matsumoto Jun. Now answer my question: when can you come to me?"

He scratched his head. "I'll speak with him today. You'll have your answer then. You may as well forward me all the details about your furniture and the auction house. He's not the type of person who will take a job based solely on my personal recommendation."

"And he's a smart man for it," she teased him. "I like men who won't move until they have all the facts. Very well then, I will be extremely detailed for your Captain Sakurai, and he'd be a fool to refuse me."

"I haven't met a person yet who has ever refused you," Jun told her, and she laughed again. Even on the other side of an asteroid belt from her, Ryoko's laugh always cheered and refreshed him. "Take care."

"Goodbye, love," she said, blowing a kiss at the screen before it cut out to black.

Jun leaned back in the shuttle's pilot seat, groaning. He was not looking forward to this conversation at all.

\--

He found Sho on the treadmill in one of the unused crew quarters. Aiba had made the careless mistake of implying that Sho was getting a little soft around the middle, and that had launched the captain into a health craze. When he wasn't working, he was jogging on the treadmill, lifting weights, or blending together "health shakes" in the kitchen. He was more irritable than ever, and Jun was certain that in another week or so Meisa would order Becky to dismantle the treadmill's motor and save them all from Captain Sakurai's madness.

Jun's face betrayed nothing when he entered the room, seeing the sweaty captain's grueling pace. He'd cranked up the incline setting, and he was in shorts and a tight-fitting t-shirt, his face red as he forced himself onward. "Might I have a word with you?" Jun asked.

Sho shook his head. "Not...yet..." he managed to say as his sneakers pounded the machine. If there was one thing Sakurai Sho had never been, it was fat. Where Jun trained his body for client necessity, Sho simply wouldn't let himself go. It was a far cry from Nino and Aiba's diets of meat and junk food that kept their stomachs a little rounded.

Jun knew he could leave, come back and find Sho later when he was tossing a bunch of questionable things in the blender, but it was difficult to move. He chewed the inside of his cheek until Sho finished his run. The captain turned the machine off, putting his towel around his neck and leaning over the edge of the treadmill to stare at him.

"I need to shower."

"This will only take a moment."

Sho sighed. "Where do you need us to take you now?"

Even though they'd had this agreement for years, Sho always made Jun feel as though he was a rather heavy burden. Of course, that was because Sho was an asshole wherever Jun's job was concerned. "Omoikane," he explained calmly, even as a bead of sweat slid down from Sho's temple to his jaw. "My friend has a job for you."

"You mean your _client_ has a job for me?"

"Yes. Well, for Arashi," Jun said. "I have business with her, and she has business for you. All in all, it's a logical arrangement. Legitimate business, mind. She was forwarding all the details to you, I'm sure Nino's already received it."

Sho wiped his face with his towel, looking irritated. "Got word of a passenger transport from Raijin. What makes you think I'll pick your job over that?"

"Ryoko-san is a wealthy woman. You'll be handsomely rewarded for your trouble." He moved away from the wall to stand just a bit closer. "And I promise to be very dutiful and take work as it comes for a while, wherever you choose to take Arashi."

Sho snorted at that. "How benevolent of you."

"Captain, I assure you that a connection with someone of Ryoko-san's status can only be a boon to Arashi," Jun explained. He felt that they'd had this same conversation a hundred times before. "Is it so much trouble to take a job on the other side of the Belt once in a while?"

Sho stepped down off the machine, grabbing his bottle of water. "I'll review her request, alright?"

He let Sho pass him by, and he grinned. It rarely went this well - maybe Jun had to catch Sho when he was exhausted more often.

He was sitting down to dinner later that evening when Nino entered the kitchen, sitting down across from him and yanking some of the food off of his plate. Nino smiled. "Yonekura Ryoko," the pilot said simply before biting into the grilled vegetables he'd snagged.

Jun raised an eyebrow. "Hmm?"

"I think Sho-chan's mostly assumed that your lovers were old or ugly, you know, the type who have to pay for someone to have sex with them. But she sent him a personal request. A video request, asking for his help. She even addressed him as 'Captain' and said it with a straight face."

He scowled. "Is there a reason why you're interrupting my dinner?"

Nino shrugged. "I think he replayed her message about seven times in his quarters. I can track that stuff you know. And after such careful consideration, he has decided to accept." Jun wondered why Sho hadn't come to tell him that himself, but Nino was already ahead of him. "He told me to tell you, had some other stuff to do I guess. You know how he is. Anyhow, we'll be there in a few days. Must be nice for you to go to a planet where the people have decent hygiene."

Jun kept the joy of his victory to himself, smacking Nino's hand away before he tried to steal more of his dinner. "It's always a plus when they shower."

\--

**2999 CE  
Omoikane (the fourth planet)  
Sumire Temple, Inner Chambers**

Jun often wondered what it would feel like to truly be desired by someone. Sumire Temple taught him everything about making one's self desirable, but nobody actually desired him. Some days he spent hours kissing until his lips were swollen and painful. Kissing boy trainees. Kissing girl trainees. Being kissed by the older Companions.

"Lean your head this way."

"Bring your hand to their head this way. Or their chin. Or their cheek."

"Nobody likes that much tongue."

Learning to kiss properly and expertly was handled with the same clinical precision that his other lessons were conducted. The proper way of shamisen playing. The proper tea ceremony. The proper way of money management. The proper way of dressing. Jun learned how to be passionate and learned it well, but being passionate and genuinely feeling passion were different things.

Everything at Sumire was learned in stages. He was sixteen and limited in scope. Kissing, fondling on the outside of clothing, massaging, training the eyes, training the face. Training your body so someone would be begging to touch you, hold you, penetrate you. 

In another year or more, they'd get to touch a breast, kiss a breast, lick one instead of watching a demonstration. In another year or more, they'd learn how to please a woman between her thighs with fingers and tongue instead of watching a demonstration. In another year or more, they'd learn how to similarly please a man instead of watching a demonstration. And then when they came of age, they'd explore the final threshold - penetrating and being penetrated. Turning twenty seemed so far off.

Of course there was training outside of formal instruction. He knew some of the boys in the dorm were ahead of him. They touched one another after lights out, sucked one another off to practice. Nobody ever climbed into Jun's futon to practice on him. Jun learned what his own body liked, learned how to drag out his own pleasure, but it was always lame to do that. What was the point of a Companion pleasing themselves?

He was at an age where his body never seemed to know what it wanted. He spent his days focused, unfeeling, only absorbing knowledge. He trained himself to bottle his own wants - when a woman writhed in ecstasy before the trainees, Koyuki-san's tongue brushing against her sex in feather-light movements, Jun only sat and watched. Those who couldn't endure, those who gave in and surrendered their virginity so lightly were never seen again. Jun forced himself to endure.

Takki was a year older than Jun, and one of the most promising. He was perfectly formed, Koyuki-san always praised him. He would be greatly desired. He would fetch an amazing price at the Coming of Age ceremony - there was already speculation about what someone would pay to be with Takki for the very first time, even if it was still three years away.

Jun doubted that anyone speculated about him. Even with the strict regimens for grooming, there was little Jun could do about his skin. Every remedy he was taught, every cream he tried, nothing could give him clear, perfect skin like Takki's. Jun grew taller, but he was skinny. He had long limbs, and he was a bit clumsy as he grew into his body. His teeth were worse, and he was fairly certain he would be sent to a special clinic to have them all painfully adjusted and reshaped within another year or so. Companions were all supposed to be about bodily perfection, but Jun's body was out of control. 

He could see the way Koyuki-san examined him, and the way Koyuki-san examined Takki. Takki was perfection, Jun was doomed to give pleasure to those who were just looking for something to stick their dick in. Or at least that's what he'd overheard some of the others saying once when they thought he was asleep. 

When he'd first arrived, Koyuki-san had praised him for his shyness. But now his shyness was his greatest fault. It was no wonder Jun couldn't understand passion - he only knew how to fake it.

\--

**3009 CE  
Omoikane (the fourth planet)  
Himawari Temple**

He wasn't used to disembarking from Arashi itself. For the last three years, Jun usually flew the shuttle he rented from Sho to see clients. This time it was unnecessary. He only had a trunk to stay for a week while Sho and the crew traveled to Fujin to drop off Ryoko's furniture. It was slightly embarrassing to exit the ship behind Sho, sensing the other crew members trailing them and staring around at the temple. He suspected that none of them had been to a place like Himawari Temple before.

He could hear Aiba and Nino laughing to each other, only to be interrupted with two loud cracks as Meisa knocked both of them on the back of the head. He withheld a smile as they all walked up the path to the Lead Companion estate where Ryoko had her private rooms. Becky was at his side, having insisted on carrying his trunk all by herself. 

"I didn't think Companions had other Companions as clients," she said, blushing.

"It's always a good way to evaluate one another. Gain some insight into ways you might improve," he said with utter seriousness, even if he was laughing inside. Their questions had been coming at him rapid fire since they'd gotten through the Awaji Belt.

What kind of training really goes on in those places? How long has Ryoko-san been a Companion? How exactly did you meet? Even Meisa had asked questions, mostly innocent ones about the planet itself. Jun had answered some, only hinted at the answers to others. Sho hadn't asked him a single thing.

Some trainees were in the yard doing calisthenics, and he could see Becky's eyes drifting over to watch them. Himawari was rather cheerful for a temple, and it was most likely due to its leader. Ryoko prided herself on raising confident, caring Companions rather than delicate dolls. "Isn't that what we are?" she always told him, "Companions? We need to be someone a client wants to keep around, not just pretty ornaments."

Speaking of Ryoko, Jun was a little surprised when one of her assistants emerged from the house first rather than the mistress herself. In fact, Jun was rather confused that Ryoko wasn't in the yard leading the trainees in their exercise. The assistant was new to Jun, in his early 20's with a handsome face.

"Yonekura-san offers her apologies. Some urgent business has arisen, but if you'll allow me to escort you all into the guest sitting room, we've prepared some refreshments for you."

This assistant had been trained perfectly, Jun noted, as the young man had addressed Sho directly rather than Jun himself. It was Sho who needed to be catered to, doted on in such a situation. If Sho was angry for the delay, he didn't show it. Some other staff came to collect Jun's trunk without a word, vanishing off with it as the crew of Arashi was escorted into the building. For once, they were on their best behavior, keeping their chatter to a minimum as the assistant brought them into one of Ryoko's many beautifully decorated rooms.

Of course, he could probably leave them, go to his own guest rooms to refresh himself and prepare for his meeting with Ryoko, but he definitely couldn't trust Aiba not to sneak off in hopes of flirting with the trainees. And it would only convince Sho further that Jun was nothing more than an outsider to their crew, even after all these years. No, Jun bided his time, helping himself from the platters of fruits and cheeses that Ryoko-san's staff had prepared for them.

Finally, the assistant returned. "Yonekura-san wishes to speak with Captain Sakurai."

Jun watched Sho perk up at that, correcting his posture as he got to his feet and stood tall. Well, Jun knew, Ryoko had that effect on most everyone. They all watched Sho leave, and Aiba then took the opportunity to quiz Jun about what exactly went on behind closed doors at a temple like Himawari. Jun lied through his teeth about this or that type of lesson, leaving Aiba utterly bored at the thought of learning to play the harp to please a client.

Sho came back, and he was in work mode - a state of being that told everyone that Sho had everything planned and to deviate from it would be foolish. He directed the crew to join Ryoko's staff to retrieve all the furniture for the auction and bring it to Arashi's cargo bay. But once everyone dispersed, he remained back in the sitting room with him.

"It'll be a few days there and a few days back," Sho said. "Is there anything you need from Fujin while we're there?"

He shook his head. "No, but thank you for offering."

Sho waved him off. "She was, ah, tired I guess, but a good businesswoman. Said to tell you that she'd meet with you for dinner later."

Ryoko was passing messages with Sho as the middleman? Just what mischief was she planning now? "Oh, I see."

A few moments passed in awkward silence after that, and Jun couldn't understand why the captain was lingering behind while his crew loaded up the ship. He was obviously uncomfortable being in the confines of a place like Himawari Temple. Sho finally cleared his throat. "Well then. We'll see you in a week."

Jun bowed his head. "Again, thank you for taking on the job."

"Goodbye."

He watched Sho turn and walk away, retreating through the doorway and back to the relative safety of his ship. Jun headed for his guest quarters, washing up and changing into more casual clothing now that he was Ryoko's to command for the week.

He was summoned shortly thereafter to dinner, finding Ryoko not at the dining table in her personal chambers but on her chaise with a blanket over her legs. When she didn't get up to greet him, Jun began to worry. But with Ryoko being Ryoko, she sensed his panic immediately.

"Before you even ask," she said with a sigh, lifting the blanket to reveal that one of her long, shapely legs had been wrapped from knee to ankle with a tight bandage. "A sprain."

He exhaled in relief, walking over and bending down to brush kisses against each cheek to be proper before descending upon her mouth with far less than proper intent. She gave him a shove fairly quickly. "Yes, yes, always the flirt, you are."

He smiled and backed away just as one of the servants brought over a chaise for Jun as well. He'd be sitting the same as the lady of the temple for the meal tonight. "And how did you sprain it? Still doing acrobatic moves at your age, hmm?"

She pulled a few grapes from the platter on the table before her, flinging them at him with a laugh. "Some things get better with age, Matsumoto. But I see your attitude hasn't."

He settled down on the lounger, leaning forward lazily to snatch up a few grapes of his own. "I only tease because I love you."

"So freely said, so utterly believable," she mused. "Is that the tone of voice you use every time you lie to a client and say you love them?"

He shrugged. "I don't tell them all that I love them. That would be in poor taste."

She popped a grape in her mouth and rolled her eyes. "Jun, Jun, Jun, what ever will I do with you?"

They settled into their usual friendly chatter, Ryoko offering news of the current trainees at the temple, their positives, negatives, and future prospects. Jun continued on with the less interesting news of life aboard Arashi, the clientele that made itself available to him on the outer planets and how little they could pay him.

"If you're so unhappy, why don't you leave?" she asked him as she always did.

"I'm not unhappy," he said quietly, sipping his plum wine. And he wasn't unhappy on Arashi, Jun knew. He liked the crew, even if they were some of the most ridiculous people he'd ever met. His dissatisfaction was only from a financial standpoint. "Just frustrated. It's different."

Ryoko nodded, holding out her glass for her attendant to refill. "I liked your captain," she told him. "I liked him very much."

He turned to her, seeing her eyes sparkle wickedly. "Did he put on a fine performance for you?"

She shook her head. "I found him refreshingly transparent. An honest man working for an honest wage. Unfailingly polite, promised to take care of my furniture and all the dealings with the auction house. Said that if I found any faults in his crew's work that he would refuse payment."

" _Sho_ said that?" Jun blurted out before reaching for more grapes. He munched on one quickly, wishing he'd held his tongue.

"He did indeed. And then he _smiled_ ," Ryoko said, voice lowering to almost a whisper. "I understand a great many things now."

Jun scowled at her. "Do you now?" Ryoko always liked to think she could psychoanalyze him.

She dragged one of her grapes along her lips and winked at him. "He's so very much like you, Jun-kun."

He raised an eyebrow. He and Sakurai, similar? "You're making fun of me now. We couldn't be more different."

"Or more alike," she insisted. "I can see why you stay with him. He's handsome, kind, hardworking, thoughtful, polite..."

"Pigheaded," Jun interrupted her. "Arrogant, judgmental, narrow-minded..."

Ryoko rested her hand on his arm. "Jun." He looked at her, the sudden sadness in her eyes enough to shut him up immediately. "You want him to look at you like anyone else. You know that's impossible, given what we do."

"You're making something out of nothing. You talk to someone like him for twenty minutes, and now you think that..."

"Jun, sweetheart," she said, squeezing his wrist. "What Sumire Temple taught you doesn't work on me, and it never will."

He held out his own glass, and the attendant refilled it without batting an eyelid. They were trained to be unflappable during even the most outrageous dinner experiences, and this one was fairly tame. Jun downed the plum wine with little elegance, feeling a little dribble from his mouth as Ryoko watched him, trying to analyze him and his motives. If only Jun could fully understand them himself.

"Did you really summon me halfway across the system so you could gloat?"

"Gloat? I'm not gloating," Ryoko said. "I just thought that if I could meet your captain I could understand you better. You've always tried to dodge the most basic of questions where he's concerned while you'd tell me about anyone else you've ever met down to the last beauty mark. I have business with you, Jun, but I didn't want to pressure you if there's somewhere you'd rather be."

"Business? What sort of business?"

That was when she dismissed her attendants, and they were finally alone. She turned to him, leaning her elbow on the chaise to stare at him. "You don't like being tied down. What attracts you about our job is the freedom it gives us, the ability to reinvent yourself for whoever you're with. You like the challenge of that, you like the planning, the preparation. More than any other Companion I've met, you work to be someone's ideal match."

He bowed his head. "Answer my question, would you?"

"Well, Jun, I called you here so I could tie you down and take your freedom away," she explained. "Himawari Temple could use some more help. Teach with me here, at my side. That was what I was going to ask you, but now I'm not so sure..."

He was only twenty-six, and she would give him such an honored position? Most instructing Companions had far more experience, were the best of the best. And she wanted him to ensure that the following generations would succeed? "Ryoko-chan..."

"It's a lot to take in, I know, but demand is higher than ever. I want to send the very best into the world, the most prepared, the most thoughtful Companions. There's nobody else I can trust, nobody else I think could do a better job."

But staying at Himawari Temple would mean a lot of changes. If he still wished to take clients, they'd have to come to him at their own expense. And he'd be stuck on one planet, in one place. At the same time, though, Ryoko was not the sort to admit weakness so readily. If she truly needed his help, she wouldn't lie to him about it.

"That's why I wanted to meet him," Ryoko said. "I wanted to know if it was even right to ask you..."

He rolled his eyes. "You think I'd turn you down because of Sakurai Sho? He would be the happiest man alive to see me leave. I'm nothing but a nuisance to him, and he's always quick to remind me of it. Sure, he'd miss the income, but he can always find another renter..."

"Another renter, Jun, but not you."

"Now you're getting romantic, and I'm worried that you sprained your brain as well as your leg. You talked to him for how long again? Did you get him to spill his life story?"

She laughed. "My dear, sweet boy, you are in love with him. You'll put up with his stubbornness and whatever he throws at you because in your heart you know he's a good man. How many offers do you get, Jun-kun, hmm? How many people throw themselves at you, beg to be with you, all so they can brag about it later? And how many times has your captain done that?"

"Sho?" he coughed. "Sho's never...Sho _would_ never..."

"And that's why you love him, isn't it? He doesn't want Matsumoto Jun, the Companion, escort to the system's wealthiest. He doesn't want you for the clout. He wants you for you. But you refuse to see that. You refuse to believe it's even possible..."

"I will be more than happy to consider your generous offer for employment here," Jun said bitterly, getting to his feet. "I'd like to walk around the grounds in the morning, get a full rundown of what my responsibilities might entail should I choose to accept."

"I should have never asked you," Ryoko admitted. "Don't throw your freedom away to prove a point to yourself. Don't stay with me if you only want to run away from what you're feeling and don't fully understand..."

They'd never argued like this, not even in the beginning. Did he love Sakurai? What the hell was love anyway? Love was something Jun sold as a commodity, and Sho hated everything about that. Companions couldn't fall in love for real. It went against everything he knew, everything he'd trained to be.

He turned back to look at her, and there were tears in her eyes. "Ryoko, I'm sorry..."

She waved him off. "Go to sleep, sweetheart. We'll speak in the morning."

\--

**3003 CE  
Omoikane (the fourth planet)  
Sumire Temple, Inner Chambers**

Omoikane was not a planet for big, bustling cities. It was a planet that offered a sense of escape for the well-to-do. Jun hadn't seen too many cities, though Koyuki-san had ensured that he experience some travel by accompanying her to a few diplomatic functions as one of her attendants. After all, most clients were of wealth and privilege, and it wouldn't do Jun much good to have no experience beyond the planet he'd been born on. He didn't dare come across as someone uneducated, unworldly.

His Coming of Age ceremony was only a month away, a day when everything would change as it had for every Companion in training before him. He wasn't sure what the future held, really. The choices were fairly open - Koyuki-san had already told him he was welcome to remain in the temple complex, seeking out and entertaining clients until he had enough funding to establish himself on a private estate. Or he could see the stars, traveling from planet to planet as he wished, though the lack of stability often was a turn-off for the older, more conservative potential clients.

That long, hot summer found Jun meditating under the stars each night for guidance. The lack of cities on Omoikane left the sky open and limitless, awash with light that offered him calm. Would he always be looking up, cloistered in the hushed chambers of Sumire Temple or some other place just like it? That was how Takki had decided to start building his client base, spending decadent days in luxury while his clients lavished him with gifts. But was it the right future for Jun? Wouldn't it be a better challenge to get away from Omoikane, use everything he'd been taught to draw people in as he so chose?

And what would it be like going through the Coming of Age ceremony? His virginity would be sold to the highest bidder, after all, and after that he was considered an adult, no longer a mere trainee. But he felt that there was still so much to learn, so much that needed to be refined and perfected. He didn't have Koyuki-san's cool grace or Takki's charismatic pull.

He was under the stars that night the same as all the others when his life changed unexpectedly.

It was quiet in the garden save for the odd cricket chirp, and Jun lay on his back in the grass staring up into the endless starry black. The quiet was broken when he heard footsteps on the pebbled path, soon muffled in the grass as someone approached him. It was the dead of night and he should have been in bed, but Koyuki-san had always seemed to know that he enjoyed solitude when he needed it, never punishing him for his nightly wanderings.

Apparently this person knew of it too as they knelt in the grass, silken fabric brushing against his own. "Senpai," came the quiet female voice in the darkness.

He sat up with a sigh. "Satomi-chan."

"Senpai, I..." Her voice was trembling. Satomi was naturally quiet in a way that Jun inherently understood. Her parents, too, had pretty much sold her into service as a Companion. She was a few years younger with enviable porcelain skin and a shy smile. She'd do well as she studied. "Senpai, I need to..."

He settled a hand on her shoulder in the dark. She was maybe fifteen or sixteen, and many of the girls her age liked to seek out those of Jun's status in the night. Perhaps she wanted to be initiated into some of the things she was still only observing during the daytime. But she'd never struck him as someone like the other girls. After all, she was more for hero worship. It was obvious to anyone that she was in love with Takki, foolish a pursuit as that was.

And it was Takki she wished to speak about. The last thing Jun wanted was to advise her on how to pursue someone who was already an adult, someone who had loyal, paying clients. "It's about Takizawa-senpai, I need to speak with him."

"Well, I don't exactly have an in with him myself..."

But to Jun's surprise, the girl started to cry, clinging to him desperately, enough to set off his protective instincts. And of course, setting off other feelings that he tried to hurriedly shove down. Some of the other trainees his age, so close to their Coming of Age liked to fool around with the younger trainees. Jun didn't want to be like them. "Satomi-chan, what's wrong?"

"Takizawa-senpai and I...we..." And that was when she was no longer able to speak and instead she grabbed hold of Jun's hand, pressing it against her clothes over her abdomen.

Jun's heart dropped. _Takki, what were you thinking?_ There was fooling around that most everyone did and then there was having penetrative sex with an underaged trainee. And that was absolutely forbidden. Golden boy Takki should have known that was rule number one. Not only had Satomi surrendered the virginity that she was bound to preserve until her Coming of Age, but she'd gotten pregnant. Both were grounds for immediate dismissal from the temple. Takki too.

"Oh Satomi-chan, why did you do this?"

She buried her face against his robe, tears soaking the costly fabric. "He said he knew how to be perfectly careful, that it was something you learned as a Companion. He said there was no way this would happen. Now I can't even catch his eye. He acts like I was nothing to him."

Jun could feel his fury building. That damned lying playboy. Someone with prestige and popularity like Takki, taking advantage of a young girl who worshiped him. Nobody would believe Satomi's side of things, of that Jun was doubly sure. "What do you want me to do? I can't get through to a guy like him. Look, if you want me to help you get rid of the baby, maybe I can try to get into the infirmary..."

She held onto him tighter. "I can't. I won't do that, Senpai."

He tried to pry her fingers off of him. "You can't keep it!" he hissed at her. "They're going to turn you out as it is. Don't make them turn you away with a child in you!"

"Help me escape, Senpai. Please. If Takki won't speak to me, I don't need to be here. I won't be able to bear the shame of Koyuki-san learning what's happened."

"If you run away they'll suspect as much either way!" The girl wasn't in the right frame of mind. She'd be dismissed no matter what, but surely Koyuki-san would show some sort of mercy if the girl made a conscious effort to not be responsible for a child at so young an age.

"My parents will help. I swear they will. But I can't stay here. They'll make me kill my baby."

Jun was torn. Part of him wanted to get up and bust right into Takki's private chambers and punch him. But he'd never had the confidence or outright stupidity to interfere in the lives of the other Companions and trainees. It went against everything Sumire Temple taught them. The other part wanted to tell Satomi to ask someone else, anyone else but him. 

But Jun couldn't imagine what it would feel like to be left out in the cold, Sumire Temple's doors shut forever. Satomi wanted to withdraw on her own terms and without humiliation. If Takki was too self-centered to help her, why couldn't Jun do something about it? He was always out late, and he knew when the various guards and security staff moved around. He could sneak her out one of the rear gates, maybe he could cause a diversion. "Tonight is impossible."

He felt her lips brush against his cheek, and she embraced him. "Oh Matsumoto-senpai..."

"But tomorrow," he said quietly. "You'll meet me here at the same time tomorrow."

\--

But to Jun's surprise, it was Takki who met him in the garden the following night, accompanied by half a dozen guards.

"Matsumoto, what are you doing out after hours?" Takizawa asked, meeting Jun's eyes with a look that could only be described in one word: victory.

Jun said nothing. What could he say? He allowed the guards to escort him to Koyuki-san's personal chambers where he was made to wait in the hall while Takki presumably spun lies with his golden tongue. Had Takki made Satomi-chan lie? Had it all been some sort of trap? Was he just being used so Takki could get away with his misdeeds?

Finally he was allowed to enter, and the room was empty save for the Lead Companion herself. The room was lit by the faintest of candlelight, and Koyuki-san said nothing as she poured a cup of tea for him. Jun couldn't help but remember the first time he'd met her, how awestruck he'd been by her beauty, how overwhelming the thought of being accepted by her had been.

But there was no warmth in the Companion's eyes. She sat quietly, almost rigidly while Jun explained his side, about Satomi coming to him in the night and begging for his help, about how Takizawa had overstepped his privileges. Sumire Temple had taught them all to be the most skillful of liars - Koyuki-san would surely be able to know that Takki's story had been false and that Jun was being truthful.

He bowed low when he finished speaking, unable to look into Koyuki-san's face. "I was only trying to assist her. What was done to her is inexcusable and shameful for this temple."

Koyuki-san had always had a reputation for fairness, for being a shrewd judge of character. But at the same time, to be a Companion was to make money based on lies. Lying to someone's face and then lying on your back was their life's work, and a scandal of this type was apparently too much for Sumire Temple to endure.

"You will pack your things. I can offer you transport to any major settlement, but I do not want to see your face on Omoikane again," Koyuki-san said.

Jun looked up in shock. At worst, he expected to be confined to the dorms, removed from classes, his Coming of Age bidding delayed. "Koyuki-san, I will be twenty in a month..."

"Your twentieth birthday is of no interest to me any longer, Matsumoto-san."

He was stunned. Koyuki-san had always addressed him as Jun-kun. How quickly things could change with Takki bringing in so much wealth. "Koyuki-san, please don't do this. Being a Companion...it's all I have. It's all I've worked for! Think of how much has gone into my training. I swear, I'm telling you the truth. Please reconsider."

But her resolve was unshakeable. "You will pack your things," she told him. "I could have you brought up on charges of rape for what you've done to Ishihara-san. If you're smart, you'll accept this and save this temple any further embarrassment."

"I didn't do anything to her!" he shouted, unable to control his temper even with the years of meditation and training he'd endured to keep his emotions in check. Did she really think he'd done this? So close to his Coming of Age? "I swear, I didn't! Please don't turn me away! Please, Koyuki-san! Koyuki-san!"

"Consider your parents, their positions here," she said coldly. "Go quietly, Matsumoto-san."

Koyuki-san never looked at him again, merely clapping her hands. The guards came in, dragging him screaming back to the dorms. "I didn't do anything! It wasn't me!" he shouted until his throat burned with the effort. In one instant, his entire life had changed.

The guards shoved some of his clothing into a bag, and rain had started up outside when they dragged him over the gravel to the temple gate. The rain soaked into his clothes, matting down his hair as he struggled against the guards' grip. "No!" he screamed. "Koyuki-san!"

They threw him out, and the meager belongings they'd given him were tossed unceremoniously into a mud puddle. The Sumire Temple gate closed with a very decisive sound, and he heard the buzzing noise that indicated the magnetic security field had been re-activated.

There was a bright flash, lightning streaking across the Omoikane sky. It revealed another person just outside the Sumire Temple gate - he saw her robe, spattered in mud.

"Satomi-chan," he murmured, hurrying over to her side. They'd both been turned away by Koyuki-san with zero sympathy. If she'd had anything to do with Takki's scheme, the man had turned on her anyway. He shook the poor girl's shoulder. "Satomi-chan, it's Jun..."

The rain continued to pour.

"Satomi-chan...?"

Jun turned the girl over, and when another bolt of lightning struck, it revealed her wide open eyes staring lifelessly upward. With the third flash, he saw the knife in her hand and the wound in her belly. She'd wanted to live. Satomi-chan had wanted to escape, to see her baby born healthy. But whoever found her in the morning would assume she had committed suicide in shame.

His hands were shaking as he tore open the bundle of clothing they'd left to him, draping them over her body. They'd done this to her. Whether it was on Takki's orders or Koyuki-san's, they'd done this to Satomi. To be a Companion was to be a liar. And that was apparently not the worst of it. 

In a month he would have been a Companion, fully registered and certified, one of them. Now he was just a 19 year old nobody who didn't know how to do one damned useful thing - he could play shamisen, brew tea, sing, dance, and lie on his back until the person who paid for him came. 

He dragged himself to his feet, sobbing hysterically in his confusion and anger. Koyuki-san had threatened his family's livelihood - he couldn't go there, maybe never again. What was he going to do? What the hell was he going to do?

\--

**3009 CE  
Omoikane (the fourth planet)  
Himawari Temple**

He saw himself in so many of the trainees. They wanted to learn everything. They wanted to turn twenty and become the perfect Companion. Jun didn't have the heart to tell them that being a Companion was largely a profession you learned on the job. And it wasn't always glamorous or ideal or perfect. It was a job, just like any other with its positives and negatives.

But Himawari Temple was unlike most other temples, and the enthusiasm of the trainees seemed to be somewhat tempered by the pragmatism of their Lead Companion. He observed a few classes that morning, correcting some of the younger trainees on their sewing. A Companion's clothes never came cheap, and being able to stitch up and hide imperfections saved money and allowed a wardrobe to last longer. Many a Companion had gone broke by replacing every single item that a rough client had torn. 

Himawari had an openness, a freedom that few temples had. The corridors were not hidden in shadow but lit by the natural light of the two suns. "There is no need to hide what we do," Ryoko had always told him, "there's nothing shameful about pleasure."

Jun tried to imagine himself helping the trainees every day, guiding them through activities both practical and carnal. He'd never really thought of being any kind of instructor. He didn't think he had the right background or patience, and yet Ryoko had called him here to at least consider it. But staying at Himawari would mean leaving Arashi. And knowing Sho and his tendency to work on the outer planets, it was highly unlikely they'd cross paths ever again. The world of the temple and the world of Arashi rarely intersected.

With each student he helped to instruct in music class, he thought about one of Arashi's stupid jobs. Of the struggling villages where Sho decided they'd stop for two weeks and help build schools. Of the sterile space stations Arashi hopped back and forth from, ferrying supplies for anyone who'd pay. With each awestruck face that was impressed that he'd been Ryoko's lover and friend for years, he thought of Arashi's crew. The bizarre things that Aiba would say, Becky's cheerful enthusiasm, Meisa's calm and practical kindness, Nino's humor. And Sho...Ryoko had tried to get Jun to come to terms with what he thought about Sho.

Sho frustrated him. Sho infuriated him. But sometimes Sho would do something that Jun couldn't help but admire. They'd take a job on a backwater planet - but then Sho would somehow get the crew tangled in something else. They'd save a woman in trouble, a kidnapped child. It wouldn't just be about the work any longer. Sho would want to make a difference. Whether interfering was right or not, Sho would bullheadedly charge in. All this time Jun had judged him for it. Sho liked to play hero, but why was that such a bad thing? 

He spent the next few days confused. Every time he thought about permanence on Omoikane, he thought of Arashi. When Nino sent a message from Arashi one evening while he and Ryoko ate dinner, letting her know the auction had been a success and they were returning with her money, Jun couldn't help but listen in, hearing the pilot's voice and missing them all. When Ryoko looked over at him when the message had finished playing, she already seemed to know what his decision was.

The following night Arashi would be returning to Omoikane, and he had until then to make his final decision. The shamisen class he'd been observing was dismissed early, and Jun decided that he'd make the last night a special one for Ryoko. She'd turned him down every night since he'd arrived, citing her injury or some other excuse. Jun had obeyed her wishes, even as they confused him. Maybe she didn't want to remind him of one major perk accepting her offer would bring - her company, night after night, something he definitely wouldn't dislike.

It had been a while since he'd been with a client who knew him so well. And it had been a while since he'd been with a client where the transaction wasn't one-sided. He headed for his guest room, changing into a yukata she'd bought for him years earlier. Perhaps the memory of the gift would change her mind, and they could part on pleasant terms the coming day.

As soon as he was ready, he decided to sneak in through the rear passage to her own chambers, one that only Ryoko's closest attendants knew about. He felt a bit childish sneaking about, but he'd win her over. Ryoko always liked surprises. He reached her room, and was just about to slide open the panel that he knew was obscured behind a folding screen when he heard Ryoko's voice inside.

"...the last time, I refuse," she was saying, and Jun strained to listen. 

"But Yonekura-san, there may still be a chance..." came a man's voice, but Ryoko interrupted him straight away.

"Sensei, it's too late. We looked at the charts together. It's spread, you told me it's spread too far..."

"Our clinic has the most advanced and modern..."

"Sensei," Ryoko repeated. "I've come to terms with it, and I wish you would do the same. My place is here at Himawari Temple."

There was a pause, and finally Ryoko's doctor spoke again. "Very well. I won't force treatment on an unwilling patient..."

"Sensei, there's treatment and then there are lost causes," Ryoko said. "You told me I had time to settle my affairs. I'm settling them, on my own terms. There's nothing more to be done."

That was all Jun could bear to overhear, and he turned around in the hidden corridor, shuffling his way back to his guest chambers, his breaths coming in gasps by the time he got back. He collapsed to his knees in shock, the sash of his yukata loosening, showing him the sunflower pattern on it. He'd complained to Ryoko about how feminine it looked, but she'd bought it for him just the same.

A sprain, Ryoko had told him. She'd only sprained her leg. But that and her other excuses were just a web of deception. Ryoko, who had always been so honest with him, so truthful. She was ill. She was more than ill, Jun told himself. She was dying. The signs had been there - the way she had sat through all her meals, the tired look in her eyes. Even Sho had said she'd looked tired. She'd hired Arashi to sell furniture for her - was Ryoko selling her valuables to ensure the upkeep of Himawari Temple after her passing? 

And the request she'd made of him, asking for his help. She'd asked him to teach at her side, but that hadn't been the full truth of it. She wanted to groom him as a successor. She wanted to entrust him with Himawari Temple when she was dead and gone.

It was some time before he could fully collect himself, leave his guest room behind and join Ryoko for dinner. He said nothing of what he'd overheard, taking the time to simply watch her. The beautiful smile, the near perfection of her, save for whatever was inside her, killing her. Something they had apparently not caught in time. Why had he stayed away so long? Why hadn't he visited her more?

When the meal was over, he got to his feet first as he had every night. He realized that she'd been seated the entire week whenever he was in her presence. She hadn't gotten up, had refused to show him any weakness. She didn't want him to know.

He knelt down before her, taking her hand in his own and brushing his lips to her knuckles. "You were awfully quiet this evening, love," she told him, and there was the same spark in her eyes that she always had. How could she be dying? How could a force of nature like Ryoko be dying?

"I have a lot on my mind," he said truthfully.

She smiled, stroking his cheek. "So you're holding your tongue until your Captain Sakurai returns? Ratcheting up the tension, hmm?"

He smiled, wondering if she could tell it was forced. "I like to keep everyone in suspense."

"No matter what your answer is, I just want you to be happy. Always."

He turned her hand over, kissing her palm. "I know."

\--

**3004 CE  
Izanagi (moon of Hachiman, the second planet)  
Arcadia Spaceport**

He wiped his mouth with a snorting laugh, stumbling out of the bathroom stall with some toilet paper clinging to his shoe and the taste of the businessman's release lingering on his tongue. The man shuffled out without looking back, opening the bathroom door and returning to the thudding bass of the club. Jun didn't mind, he wasn't looking to cuddle after. His pocket full of money, he'd be able to get whatever the fuck he wanted.

He left the bathroom himself, the light show within the club and the music making his euphoric feelings reach even greater heights. He couldn't even count the number of guys he'd blown that night on one hand any longer, and now he'd be able to buy more of the good stuff. The stuff the asshole dealers didn't lace with garbage. Whatever he'd had earlier would probably wear off soon.

The night was hot and muggy, but not as bad as the press of bodies in the club when he got outside, crawling along the brick wall to stay upright. Okay, maybe he'd just have to find a place to crash for now. This side of the moon was dark longer, so he could get things started again in a few hours. His jaw would be sore later, but for now things were doing alright.

He found his way around the corner, past the other drunks and pleasure seekers. Arcadia had been a shock at first, but it was old hat now. Nobody wanted any fucking tea or a shamisen performance, but he'd adapted just fine. Didn't understand why Koyuki-san had made them wait so damned long, making them watch and watch and watch when all you had to do was hit the right spots. If Jun had to be honest, it was better to be the one doing the fucking, but it didn't much matter if he'd taken enough tabs to relax. People coming to Izanagi were just looking for a good time, and so was Jun. And his prices were lower than the registered types from his old life who waited hand and foot on the rich folks in the high-rises.

The world was spinning when he found the metro stop, one of the high-speed lines that connected the whole moon with all that Hachiman fucking precision. There was a corner the cameras didn't reach, and he'd managed to get a grate open the night before, sleeping off the alcohol and the tabs until it was time to start again. He giggled, voice echoing off the tiled walls. He stunk, really stunk. Like cigarettes and cheap beer and half a dozen people wanting a quickie in the toilets. But he didn't smell like fucking incense, and that was fine by him.

He tugged at the grate. They'd screwed it back in place, and he yanked on it, trying to jiggle it loose. The warm air from underground usually wafted up, kept him cozy inside the tight little vent. He was going to pass out standing up before long, but his pockets were full of his hard-earned cash, and the creeps came out once the metro stopped running. He needed to get inside.

"Fucking piece of shit," he complained, throwing a lame punch at the grate and only hurting his hand. "Fuck you!" he said, kicking the damn thing.

"Need somewhere to sleep, love?"

He turned around, squinting in the greenish glow of the metro's overhead lighting. This wasn't some pleasure seeker, no vacationing rich bastard. It was a woman, a gorgeous woman. Maybe the most gorgeous he'd ever seen. Or maybe it was the tab still burning through his bloodstream, turning the world into a rainbow every other time he blinked.

"...lady shouldn't be down here," he accused her, wagging his finger at her. She was pretty tall for a woman and older than him, with a bobbed hairstyle and legs that went on for miles. "Some creepy folks around this late."

She smiled at him, seemingly unaffected. "I know self-defense."

He nodded. "Good. Good. Some...undesirables...you know," he slurred. "Around here."

She approached him, not even wrinkling her nose at the stink of him. She went right up and touched him, fingering his gelled up rat's nest of hair that kept the uptight businessmen lining up. They liked bad boys. The woman tugged on the streaks of blond he'd added a few nights back when he'd hooked up with a hairdresser at a salon after hours.

"You think you're hot stuff, don't you?" she asked him.

He batted her hand away lightly. He didn't hit women unless they specifically requested he do so. "Gonna cost you to touch."

"Sweetie, how old are you?"

"Why? You into cradle robbing?"

She licked her lips, looking him up and down. "How old?"

"Mmm," he said, looking her up and down in return. He decided to be honest - he was too tired to lie, even with all he'd learned and tried to forget. "Twenty. But it'll be my birthday soon. Maybe you can buy me a cake, nee-san."

She linked arms with him, and Jun had a moment's regret at the thought of his smell rubbing off on her fancy clothes. "Come with me, I like you."

Well, anything beat sleeping inside a vent at the metro stop, and he went with her, taking an aircab to one of the hotels near the port. He fell asleep along the way, and she had to nearly drag him inside. "Just let me shower," he mumbled when she swiped the keycard at the door. "Just need to wake up. I won't let you down, nee-san."

He didn't remember much after that, but when he woke up he found himself in the bathtub of her hotel room, cuffed to the handrail bolted to the tub wall, and he struggled against it. "Hey! Hey, let me go!"

She entered the room, out of her "fuck me" dress and pumps from earlier and into a silk kimono. He had a flash of Koyuki-san, but this woman's face was gentler, kinder. "Good morning, love."

"Fuck you," he spat, and she moved over to turn on the shower sprayer, and suddenly he was being drenched with cold water. "What is wrong with you?"

The woman smiled down at him. "I like the blond bit, I think it's cute, Jun-kun."

"Turn the fucking water off."

She smirked. "Watch your language and I will."

He only whimpered at her, trying to curl up in his soaking wet clothes. He needed more, he needed more tabs, and he knew all the cash in his pocket was getting wet now. 

"Well?"

"Please turn it off," he begged her, shivering. She did so, moving to put down the toilet seat lid and sitting down to stare at him. "How do you know my name?"

"A year ago I was going to buy you. You were adorable," she said. "I'm a sucker for a pretty face."

He kept shivering. His Coming of Age ceremony. This woman had wanted to bid on his virginity. Too bad he'd given it away without much fuss. "You," he said, teeth chattering, struggling against the cuffs she'd put on him. "You recognized me from...from that?" 

"Sumire Temple made you sound so promising and then poof, you vanished." She leaned forward, elbows on her knees. "But I found you. A little rough around the edges, but I found you."

He scowled at her. "What's with the cuffs? If you wanted to fuck..." She raised an eyebrow. "If you just wanted to be with me, you didn't have to tie me up."

"You're going to be my special project," she explained to him, smiling again. 

She introduced herself as Yonekura Ryoko, and, to Jun's surprise, she also happened to be the Lead Companion of Himawari Temple on Omoikane. A temple Koyuki-san had always dismissed for their lax training and flippant attitudes toward Companion tradition. All stuff that Jun had struggled to forget. But she wanted to help him, retrain him, get him officially registered through Himawari. She wanted to give him the life he'd worked so hard for. But the temple had turned its back on him. Why the fuck would he want to go back?

"I'm a firm believer in second chances," she said quietly, moving to sit down just next to the tub and grabbing hold of his free hand. 

"Why me? You don't even know me."

"Because I understand temple politics, and what happened to you wasn't right." She turned his hand over and kissed his palm. Tenderly, gently. With genuine affection. It was the greatest kindness he'd ever received, and he felt tears well up in his eyes. "I knew you, Jun. I don't bid on just anyone, and I really wanted you. I know the types that come out of Sumire. You didn't seem to fit."

He couldn't keep from crying now. "I wanted to. I tried. I really tried." It was embarrassing now, but the tears kept falling. "I wanted to be perfect."

"I've got you, love. I'm here," she said, stroking his damp hair. "Let me tell you one thing: I don't want you to be perfect. This job isn't about perfection, no matter what they told you. This job is about happiness, and you can't bring happiness to others if you aren't feeling that way yourself."

He broke down, sobbing like a pathetic mess. "I'm not good enough!"

"But you are! Oh, honey, you are!" She got into the bathtub, not caring about her clothes to straddle him, wrapping her arms around him and letting him cry. "Jun-kun, I just want you to be happy. Always."

\--

**3009 CE  
Omoikane (the fourth planet)  
Himawari Temple**

Jun waited until Arashi docked, and Sho came to meet with Ryoko. The rest of the crew followed at Jun's request, and they all stood around in some confusion within Ryoko's chambers.

Once Sho's business was complete, he turned to leave, and that was when Jun finally spoke up. "Yonekura-san has asked me to remain here on Omoikane as an assistant at the temple."

Everyone seemed to be staring at him, some faces confused, others crestfallen. Sho's face seemed to be an odd mixture of both. Ryoko herself betrayed no inkling of what she was feeling, watching the proceedings from her chaise - she looked relaxed, but Jun knew that she was in pain. She had to have been in pain all this time.

"And I have decided," he said, meeting almost everyone's eyes save for Sho's. "I have decided to accept."

"What?" Becky cried, "but you can't leave!"

Aiba gave him a shove. "You're one of us! We don't want you to go!"

He could see Meisa and Nino stand close together, murmuring in their confusion over the sudden decision and Becky and Aiba in turn tried to talk over one another, begging him not to leave. Finally, Sho cleared his throat.

He looked rather shocked, but he met Jun's eyes calmly. "Congratulations then," the captain said quietly. "On your new position."

Jun couldn't help inclining his head. "Thank you," he managed to mumble even as the thought of Sho's eyes on him burned through him. 

Ryoko went on to apologize for "stealing Jun away," inviting Captain Sakurai and the crew to be her guests for the next few days so that Jun's belongings could be relocated from the shuttle aboard Arashi into his rooms in Ryoko's house. Sho agreed with complete kindness, saying how happy he would be to ensure a smooth transition and how grateful they were for her generous offer of hospitality.

With Becky and Aiba dogging him, Jun snuck away to find some of Ryoko's assistants to help plan the move. 

\--

Ryoko held one final banquet for the crew of Arashi, a rather fancy affair that seemed to perk up the crew's spirits even if they'd be departing come morning with one less person aboard. Jun had buried himself in work, letting Sho and Ryoko's assistants move his things while Ryoko took him through the account ledgers, the temple management, all the things he'd now be responsible for. He still hadn't pressed her about her illness - if she wanted him to know, she'd tell him on her own terms.

The Arashi crew were largely drunk on plum wine, attended on by trainees who wished to practice their conversation skills. Aiba was nearly passed out on Ryoko's dining room floor, surrounded by a gaggle of pretty girls who wanted to get better at massage. Jun rolled his eyes at Aiba's joy, knowing deep down that he'd miss him. Becky had fallen under the charming spells of some of the temple's live-in Companions, a pair of twins with red hair and enough muscles to impress the small but strong little mechanic. Nino and Meisa had accepted Ryoko's offer of a luxurious private room for the night, an obvious step up from Arashi's crew quarters.

But Jun hadn't seen Sho in a while. He recalled that the captain had excused himself to use the washroom, but hadn't come back. He got to his feet, catching Ryoko's eyes from across the dining room. She nodded in acknowledgment. He asked one of the attendants outside the room where Captain Sakurai had gone, and somehow, Jun wasn't surprised to learn that Sho had gone back to his ship.

Docked as it was in the safety of the temple courtyard, the cargo bay door was down and Jun boarded, heading through the hold and up the stairs. He found Sho up front on the bridge, sitting back in Nino's seat with his legs up on the console and an empty bottle of plum wine from Ryoko's house on the floor. He walked over quietly, seeing that Sho was asleep.

Tomorrow Arashi would leave, and he'd probably never see the ship again unless Ryoko came up with another simple job for them to do. Sho snored like a foghorn, and Jun couldn't help but smile, looking down at him in the pilot's seat. Sho was uptight while awake and honest while asleep. The ship was powered down save for the dim glow of the emergency lights on the floor. Starlight shone through the glass, and Jun enjoyed the way Sho's hair fell a bit across his eyes.

He couldn't help brushing his fingers against it, moving it aside. "Goodbye, Captain," he whispered before walking back out of the cockpit. 

He was all the way to the kitchen when he heard the bottle tip over up on the bridge and the awkward shuffling run. Sho stumbled into the kitchen, colliding with the dining table hard enough to knock over the small vase of flowers Becky had put there, spilling water all over.

Sho gripped the table, meeting Jun's gaze. He almost wished that Sho had stayed asleep. But another part of him wished the opposite. Sho's eyes were tired, and he was a little puffy from drinking. "I'm sorry if I woke you," Jun said quietly.

Sho was drunk, still wobbling. "Told me...told me before you didn't like people locking...locking you up," he accused him.

Jun looked away. "You're drunk, Sho. Go to bed." This wasn't how he wanted to leave. This wasn't the way he wanted it to end.

Sho thumped his fist on the table, and it looked like it hurt. "So why now?"

He didn't owe Sho any answers, not really. It was the terms of their agreement, wasn't it? That Jun could leave at any time? "She asked for my help. I can make a difference here."

"Difference with what?" Sho was slurring. "No shortage of people for her to fuck around here already."

He saw red, and then he was launching himself at Sho, shoving him back until the captain stumbled, falling to the ground and landing on his ass. And Jun followed him, landing on top of him and yanking the fabric of his t-shirt between his fists. "Fuck you. Don't you ever fucking talk about her that way!"

Sho's eyes were glassy. "Not...not Companion-like...way you're talking, Matsumoto."

"You don't know a god damned thing about me!" He wrenched Sho up, slamming him back down against the floor, letting out his frustrations until Sho was groaning in pain. His frustrations about Arashi, about Ryoko's condition and refusal to tell him the truth, his frustrations about Sho. Jun finally seemed to realize how crazy he was acting, letting Sho go and moving off of him, sliding away until his back hit the bulkhead.

What the hell was he doing? Three years. He'd nearly been on board Arashi for three years, and he'd kept his emotions in check. He looked over, saw Sho struggling to sit up. 

"Sho, I'm sorry," Jun muttered, nearly out of breath from his immature display. "I'm sorry."

The captain was leaning against the bench to stay upright. "...didn't mean it. I like her."

A few seconds passed, Sho looking ready to topple over at any moment, Jun feeling like a complete ass. He wasn't angry at Sho, not really. Sho said things like that all the time, and he'd been able to ignore it or chalk it up to Sho just wanting to be difficult.

He could tell Sho. He could tell him about Ryoko's illness, about the real reason he'd decided to stay on Omoikane. But the words wouldn't come. All he could see was Sho with his messy hair in his face, drunk and miserable. Was he just as sad about Jun leaving as Jun himself felt?

Jun got to his feet, walking over to hold out his hand for Sho to take. "I'm sorry."

But when he pulled Sho up, the captain held on to him, his unfocused eyes trying to meet Jun's. "Don't go."

"You're drunk," was all that Jun could say. His heart was racing at Sho's admission, but it wasn't real, Jun told himself. Sho was drunk. It wasn't really him talking.

"Don't go," Sho repeated, and Jun held onto him tighter. "Jun...don't go."

"You're tired," Jun said. "You're tired, and you're drunk." And a noble idiot. And frustrating. And near impossible to communicate with. And in that moment, everything he wanted.

"Don't..." Sho's voice seemed to catch in his throat, and Jun leaned forward to kiss Sho for the first and probably last time, tasting the plum wine on his lips. The same lips that said such stupid, irritating things. But now that he'd given in, he didn't want to stop. He's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, Jun tried to tell himself. In the morning he won't remember...

It wasn't like being with a client. It wasn't even like being with Ryoko. He wanted it more, needed it more. He was running on instinct, not on his training. With a client, Jun had every second mapped out - with Sho, he was free falling. Everything he'd been taught seemed not to matter because Sho was kissing him back, opening his mouth so Jun could explore further. 

He let Sho awkwardly turn them until Jun was leaning back against the table, hearing it scrape against the floor as the water from the overturned vase soaked into his yukata. Companions couldn't fall in love. Love wasn't real.

"Don't go," Sho was begging him in his drunken haze, his soft lips moving against Jun's own. "Jun...."

He had to go. He'd made a promise to Ryoko. He'd already gone way too far, been way too selfish. "I'm sorry," he said suddenly, breaking them apart when Sho's fingers started tugging at the sash of his yukata. "I'm so sorry."

Jun left Sho wobbling on his feet, hurrying out of the kitchen and down the stairs into the hold in a daze, barely registering his steps on the temple grounds as he headed for his new rooms. All of his things were there, everything that had been in the shuttle, everything Sho had helped move out. He looked around at the new life he'd willingly chosen for himself, his fingers pressed to his swollen lips as the sounds of Ryoko's party for Arashi's crew continued into the night unhindered.

He slid open the door that led out from his room to Ryoko's private gardens, seeing the stars overhead. From now on, he could only look up.

\--

The next morning Ryoko summoned for him, and when he arrived in her room, she asked him to escort her into the courtyard. For the first time, she stood up, wincing in obvious pain. Jun held out his arm for her, saying nothing as he led her slowly outside. Perhaps she'd tell him the truth earlier than she'd planned.

He could hear Arashi's engines gearing up for departure, could already see her lifting off. They stood together in the gravel as the ship took to the bright blue skies, headed for the black far above them. 

"It's a wonderful ship," she said, holding on to him tightly.

"It is."

Ryoko, who'd always helped him, cared for him - now it was his turn to support her.


End file.
